Triple Toddler Troubles
by Risknight
Summary: Penny suddenly finds herself with three very smart babies. Thanks to Rene who contributed a little of this story.
1. Chapter 1

Penny stared at Leonard, Amy and Bernadette with wide eyes and a slack jaw. She slowly looked over at Sheldon, Howard, and Raj. She turned back to the other three and swallowed the exclamation she wanted to utter. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before rubbing her eyes.

"I…" Penny shook her head and slowly sat down in Sheldon's spot. Her head hung forward and she tried to calm herself. A warm hand slipped into hers and she looked up into Sheldon's large blue eyes. He moved between her legs and leaned his head against her shoulder. Penny watched him suck his thumb for a second before turning back to Leonard. "Tell me again. How the _**fuck **_did you turn Sheldon, Howard and Raj into toddlers?"

* * *

Penny had stopped listening almost 20 minutes ago. She had tuned them out when they started repeating themselves. She stared at the little pile of green powder on the table and tried to make sense of what she had heard. Sheldon was still clinging to her hand, and Howard and Raj were racing around the apartment with light sabers as big as themselves. She smiled down at Sheldon who leaned against her hip. From the moment she had walked into the apartment, he had stuck close by her side.

She looked up at Amy who was staring at Sheldon and Penny with a mix of worry and jealousy. "So," Penny said tiredly, ignoring Amy's expression, "you three decided that our friends could use some …_improvement, _so you chose to try and modify them by combining an experimental drug that Amy has been working with and a new serum Bernadette has developed. Only _you_," Penny pointed to Bernadette, "mixed up the serums and used a new regression drug …thingie and _you_," Penny pointed to Amy, "accidentally used too much of your brain relaxing drug thingie, and _you_," she pointed to Leonard, "mixed the cocktail into their Thai food."

Penny clenched her teeth and tried to calm herself as all three of them nodded with embarrassment. "An hour later all three complain of headaches and upset stomachs. But instead of saying anything, or warning them that you may have _POISONED_ them, you chose to tell them to get some sleep and they would feel better in the morning. Am I following the story so far?"

Amy frowned slightly. "Penny, you don't understand. We weren't trying to hurt them! We just wanted to fix them."

"FIX THEM?!" she hissed angrily. "You just wanted to _fix them_? Fix what? What is wrong with them? Huh? What is so very wrong with my guys that you felt the need to fix them?!" Sheldon cringed against her side and she wrapped her arm round him tight.

Bernadette sobbed slightly and wiped at her tear filled eyes. Leonard cringed and hung his head. Amy straightened her back and glared at her "bestie". "First of all, Sheldon is _my_ boyfriend. He is not _your_ guy. Second, we just wanted to help them get past their phobias and neuroses. Raj's inability to talk to women, Howard's Oedipus complex, and Sheldon's mysophobia. We are trying to help them!"

Penny shook her head angrily. "No! You are trying to help YOU. You didn't give a damn about what could happen. You didn't think about what damage you could do. You could have killed them!" Penny cried. They cringed from her, and Sheldon clung to her tighter.

Howard and Raj stopped playing and inched toward Penny, too. They crowded around her and started to cry. Penny moved across the room to the couch and Raj crawled onto her left leg. Sheldon immediately settled on the other leg and wound his arms around her neck. Howard sniffled loudly and Penny pulled him up beside Raj. She looked over them carefully. The three of them were only about 2 years old now. Maybe 20 pounds each. It broke her heart to see the confusion and fear in their eyes.

Amy walked over and reached for Sheldon but he tightened his grip on Penny's neck and buried his face in her shoulder. Penny tightened her grip and gave Amy a "back off" look. Amy huffed and looked at Penny. "He's my boyfriend. I will take care of him."

Penny set the three kids aside and stood up. She took Sheldon and Howard's hands and Raj took Howard's other one. "Not anymore he isn't. He's a child. You have no claim to him at all." She looked down at the boys and smiled reassuringly. "Come with me, sweeties. I'll get you some Oreos and we'll find you some cartoons to watch, okay?"

They clung to her hands and nodded quickly. Penny led them out of the apartment and across the hall. She opened her door and ushered them in. She turned and looked at Amy, Bernadette and Leonard. "You fix this," she whispered harshly, "or so help me, I'll call their mommies and tell on you!"

She didn't slam the door like she so desperately wanted to, so she just took the whirling turbulence of her temper and let it out through her nose in a muted scream. The boys all looked up at her and she let out a puffed sigh and gave them her patented fake smile. She could feel the heat of her anger just pouring out of her cheeks. If there weren't three babies present, she just might've committed a three-part homicide.

Penny turned around to address her babied friends and her heart bungee jumped to the pit of her stomach then shot back up into her throat… Raj was trying to climb on top of the coffee table and Howard was pulling and throwing stuff out of her purse. She dove and grabbed Raj before he fell (and of course, he thought it was a 'fun game' and cackled). She put baby Raj firmly on the floor and then launched out to grab Howard and give him a stern glare. It was then that she looked around and her heart thumped faster and louder than she'd ever thought it could… Sheldon was missing.

She swept Howard down beside Raj and ran into her bedroom. She looked under the bed, in her closed closet, inside her bathroom and she could feel herself hyperventilating. She heard three baby giggles and she ran back inside the living room. The three were now in front of the TV and baby Sheldon held one of her tampons in the air like a sword of power. Penny slumped her back against the door frame of her bedroom and shook her head, "I am so gonna need help."


	2. Chapter 2

Missy was just relaxing after a long day at Fudrukker's when her cell rang. She didn't recognize the number, but the area code was for California, so she picked it up. "Hello?"

"Missy Cooper?" a feminine voice asked hesitantly.

"Speaking, sugar. Who's this?"

"This is Penny. I live across the hall from your brother. We met a few years back."

Missy sat up. "Yeah, you're the blonde, right? We got pedis together."

"That's me. Look, this is going to sound weird, but Sheldon needs you to come visit. And it would be better if you didn't tell anyone about this."

Missy quirked an eyebrow, reminiscent of Sheldon. "And why isn't he calling?"

"I can't tell you that. You wouldn't understand over the phone. You need to actually be here."

"Uh, huh," Missy said slowly. "What's my brother done?"

Penny sighed softly. "Nothing, Missy, I promise. But he really does need you here. I do to. I can't help him on my own and I'm ….worried. Please? Sheldon will buy your plane ticket here and rent you a car. It'll be waiting at the airport for you."

Missy was silent for a moment. Shelly never asked for help. Penny sounded really concerned. She loved her brother, even if she never understood him. If it was something huge, her mom and Meemaw would freak about her not telling them. But if it was just one of Shelly's quirks, she would worry them for nothing. She sighed softly. "Tell him to book the flight. "I'll start packing."

"Thank you," Penny said gratefully. "I'll call you back with the details."

Missy stood and headed to her bedroom. She called her friend Annette and asked her to cover her shifts for the next couple of days and pulled her suitcase from the closet. This had better be important. She was going to have to cancel her date with that new guy in apartment 6D.

* * *

Penny closed her eyes and put away the phone. Once she felt calmer she opened her eyes again and looked around the living room. Howard was sitting on the floor, coloring in her Cosmo magazine. Sheldon was clinging to her leg with one hand, sucking a thumb on the other. Raj was building a fort under the table with her couch cushions and a blanket.

The timer buzzed and she turned to pull the pizza from the oven. She cut it and placed a slice in each of the three plates she had set up on the coffee table. She turned on Despicable Me and called them over to eat. Once they were settled she moved back to the kitchen to clean up but Raj started crying. She turned and gasped as she saw the spreading pool of liquid at his feet. NO!

* * *

Penny sighed tiredly as she trudged back up the stairs. She had no idea how moms did it. Before she had even gotten to the second aisle, she had to put Sheldon in the grocery cart seat, and Howard and Raj in the cart part just to keep them from running off in opposite directions. They begged for candy. They cried for cookies. And Howard knocked over a display case of mayonnaise trying to grab a bag of pretzels.

Now, Sheldon was walking beside her, but Howard and Raj ran up and down the stairs around her. She had to release Sheldon's hand to reach for her keys. The door to 4A opened and Leonard stepped out into the hall.

"I, um, knocked a little while ago but you weren't in," he said nervously.

Penny glared at him and opened the door. "I had to go to the store. Two year olds don't exactly have good bladder control. I used Sheldon's credit card. You owe him $432.87 for car seats, pull-ups, wipes, carpet steamer rental, sippy cups, Garanimals and 16 broken jars of mayo." She handed Leonard the receipt. "Oh, and an iced coffee for my nerves."

Leonard sighed and looked at the three kids. "Penny, we would never have done this intentionally," he said timidly. "You have to believe me! We were trying to help them."

Penny shook her head. "You don't get it, Leonard. You _drugged _our friends for your benefit! You weren't trying to help them. If you were doing this for their benefit, then you would have told them what you were doing when they got sick! You _lied _to them! How could you do that? How do you expect them to ever trust you again? How can I trust you?"

Leonard struggled to find something to say. Penny shook her head and walked into her apartment. "Find a way to fix this, Leonard. Then pray they forgive you."

* * *

She tucked the blankets around the three of them and turned out the light. She walked back out to the living room and laid down on the couch. It had only been five hours and she was exhausted. She had a new respect for her own mother.

Okay. She wasn't smart. She knew that about herself. There was no way she was going to understand HOW they had turned her guys into tots. However, Penny was no moron, either. She knew someone she could call to help talk her through a few things. Maybe by the time Missy got here tomorrow night, she would have a better understanding of what was going on.

She picked up the phone and dialed a number she had never thought she would ever use, even though Sheldon insisted it was necessary she have it. It rang four times before a curious feminine voice answered.

"Hello?"

Penny bit her lip for a second. "Hi. Is this Stephanie Barnett?"

"Yes. Who is this?"

"I'm Penny Queen. I live across the hall from Leonard Hofstadter. Um, I have a problem that you're probably not going to believe."

"Oh?" Stephanie said, sounding bored. "Look, if there's blood, go to the ER. If there's shortness of breath, call for an ambulance. If you are seeing spots…"

"Actually, it's something much weirder than that. Please? I'll make some coffee, and I have turtle cheesecake."

Stephanie was silent for several seconds. "Why call me?"

Penny shrugged. "Sheldon trusts you. He gave me your number two years ago and said that if he ever needed a good doctor and couldn't take care of himself, to call you."

"Really?" The surprise in Stephanie's voice came through loud and clear. "I always thought he only came to me because I was convenient."

"Please," Penny asked softly. "I really don't know who else to turn to."

"Okay." Stephanie said. "I will be there in 40 minutes."

"Thank you," Penny said sincerely.

* * *

She chewed on her bottom lip as the redhead stared at her bed with a slack jaw. After about two minutes she turned and walked to Penny's door. Penny watched, easily recognizing the gleam in the good doctor's eyes. She knocked loudly on the door to 4A

It opened and Leonard gawked at his ex. Amy and Bernadette were standing by the desks looking at Leonard's laptop. "S..Stephanie? What are you doing here?" he asked warily.

Suddenly Leonard was on the ground and Stephanie was rubbing her knuckles. "Bastard," she muttered before storming back over to Penny's. She closed the door firmly and took a deep breath. "Okay. Where do we start?"

Penny looked around the apartment and gestured to the Huggies on the table. "Potty training?"

* * *

**AN: If you've got delicate sensibilities, you will want to stop reading now. Because frankly, I'm about to piss off a lot of people.**

**I started writing fanfiction because the opportunity to take characters I loved and place them in different scenarios was too tempting to pass up. For the most part, I've loved it and had a blast doing it. I've made a few good friends, people I've grown to respect and care for enough to keep in contact with outside of this site. **

**However, lately I've been pretty disheartened and at times disgusted by some of the behaviors here. No, it's not the trolls, or the Shamys or the Lennys. It's more often than not the Shennys. **

**I get it. Many of you dislike the way the show is going. You dislike one or two characters. That's okay. I have my own complaints about the show. And to be completely honest, I've been guilty of what I'm about to rant about, myself, in the past. So, here goes. **

**1. If you aren't going to review the actual story, don't write ANYTHING in the review box. It's not a soapbox for your complaints about canon. It's not where you go to bitch about another ship, author, story or life. It's for reviewing the story you have just read. I don't give a damn if you like or hate a certain character on the show. I want to know your thoughts on what I wrote. If you liked it, hated it, saw mistakes, have suggestions, etc. I don't want to read 500 words on how much you hated the last episode, or how stupid you think another ship is. Thats why there is a PM feature.  
**

**2. I've said it before and I'll say it many more times. My story, my rules. If you think I'm too soft on a character, or you think I'm too hard, that's your opinion. You're more than welcome to share that opinion with me. But if you think I'm going to change my story to please you, you're dead wrong. And PMs blasting me for not taking your opinion into account only serve to make me want to block you.**

**3. If something I write offends you, here's a blanket apology. "I'm sorry you're a pussy." There. Happy? Don't like my story? Stop reading it. Won't hurt my feelings one bit. I'm tired of people demanding I apologize because I'm not 100% politically correct. I don't have to be politically correct. I'm not a politician. **

**4. If something in this rant angers you, and you feel the need to complain, there's a big wooden box by my backdoor. It says TRASH on the flap. File it there. I promise to deal with it next garbage pickup day.**


	3. Chapter 3

Penny leaned back in the chair at her small table as she harshly closed the laptop in front of her. She closed her eyes tightly as she let out an exasperated groan. She needed a break from the many internet searches she did on 'perfect parenting'. If she read the words 'a parent's job is to be loving and patient' one more time…she was going to throw the damn laptop right out the fucking window.

This was the thought that made her start chewing on the horrid taste of the red licorice in her mouth. Penny was not the patient type…even the WORD pissed her off. She spit the chunk of Red Vine in her mouth out before giving up the candy altogether. She was a Twizzlers girl, hands down, but she would NEVER say that in front of Sheldon. The chair came back down slowly and gently clicked against the floor. She looked over at the three makeshift crater-beds that she and Stephanie had made out of towels, sheets, and clean clothes all around her apartment.

Speaking of things that her and Stephanie did, she looked around at her newly 'baby (sorta) safe' apartment. There was neon pink duct tape covering every unused electrical socket and over every cabinet. Dirty clothes were duct taped around sharp edges and every little thing that could be swallowed was as high as it could be placed. Gone was any and all alcohol, too. No sense leaving that around to tempt her, and she DEFINITELY didn't want to risk the kids getting their hands on it.

She let out a sigh and looked around the room. She knew this was not the ideal place for anyone under 21, but Stephanie said to give her a few days and she'd be back to put her idea into motion. That meant she had to call in sick at work just to watch over her new bundles of anti-joy. She snorted out a puff of air through her nose as she thought about Leonard, Amy and Bernadette's abuse of power. Her teeth started to click from the pressure she was putting on them.

There was a small mew that snapped her out of her anger ball. Her head turned to the direction that it came from and saw a little movement. Suddenly a dark haired baby sat up like Dracula and began rubbing his eyes. Penny gave a smile. There were just some things that came naturally, she thought to herself. Her knees crackled from all the hard labor she had to do on a daily basis, but it didn't deter her from her current mission. Her pink fluffy Hello Kitty slippers scuffled lightly on her floor as she moved toward baby Sheldon.

Upon seeing her, Sheldon flexed his small hands open and closed towards her, and she scooped him up in her arms. She couldn't help but notice he was a little heavier than he was a few hours earlier. She waved it out of her mind as Sheldon stood straight in her arms and put both hands on her forehead and looked intensely at her bandana. She laughed at how adult-Sheldon-like his expression was and pulled him down safer into her arms. His hands drifted down her face until his fingers rested on her bottom lip. He stared at her lip for a moment before moving his hands to his own lips and he gave a gasp-y laugh. Penny gave a chuckle and began to rock him in her arms. Within a few minutes he was asleep again. She gently stroked his cheek with a sad grin on her face before she placed him back down and decided it was time to sleep…while she had the chance.

* * *

Missy pulled into the garage of Shelly's building and got out of the car. She smiled with pleasure as she looked at the 2013 Dodge Dart. She loved the rental. Especially the color. It matched her eyes. She grabbed her overnight case and headed into the building. She glanced at the taped off elevator with a smidgeon of irritation. You'd think that after over a decade of living here, Shelly would have convinced the landlord to fix that. She headed up the stairs with a grin. Maybe she'd tease him about it. Ask him, if he's such a genius, why doesn't he fix it? That was sure to get a rise out of her little brother. She was just reaching the fourth floor when Shelly's door opened and two women walked out with Leonard. She gave them a vague smile, not particularly caring who they were.

"Missy?" Leonard squeaked with alarm. "Wh…what are you doing here?"

She frowned at the tone he used. "Well, I'm here to visit Shelly. Is he in?"

The three of them looked at each other nervously before turning back to her. The brunette stepped forward and held out a hand. "Hello. I am Amy Farrah Fowler. I am Sheldon's girlfriend. It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Melissa."

Missy hesitantly shook the girl's hand. There was a weird vibe coming from all three of them and she wasn't sure she liked it. Before she could respond the door behind her opened and two women stepped out. Immediately Amy and the anonymous blonde looked defensive and angry. Leonard looked nervous and a bit green.

Missy smiled as she recognized one of the women. "Penny, right?"

Penny nodded and gestured to her friend. "This is Stephanie. A friend of mine and Sheldon's."

Amy stepped forward aggressively. "Sheldon has no other female friends," she declared. "If he did, _**I**_ would know about it!"

Stephanie cocked one hip and glared at the other woman. "Have you found a cure yet?" Amy paled and clenched her fists. Stephanie shook her head with exasperation. "Looks like you don't know much, then."

Missy felt a shiver of apprehension. "Cure?"

Penny stepped aside and waved Missy in. "Come in. We'll explain."

Leonard gasped and stepped forward. "Penny!"

Penny jabbed a finger under his nose. "Don't!" she hissed. "I need the help and she's his sister. If you didn't want people pissed off at you, maybe you shouldn't do things that _piss people off!" _She spun and held open the door for a suddenly very worried Missy.

Missy stepped into the apartment and set her bag down. She looked around at the makeshift bumper pads and the stacks of diapers. She looked back at Penny. "I didn't know you had a kid," she said conversationally.

Penny looked at Stephanie as she shut the door. "I don't." Penny sighed heavily. A sudden cry came from the bedroom. Penny moved quickly around Missy and rushed into the bedroom. A moment later she walked back out with a small little boy with a bowl cut, in her arms. Two more trailed behind her, rubbing their sleepy little eyes. One looked up at her and paused in mid yawn. "Sissy!" baby Sheldon yelled happily. He toddled over with his hands in the air.

For the first time since the death of her pet, Snowball, Missy fainted.

* * *

**AN: For those who asked, the picture is my son, Simon. He was about 2 in this one, and (as you can see) very upset because I had turned off the TV. I rarely ever let my kids watch more than a couple hours of TV, spread out over the entire day, and he objects to that rule. **


	4. Chapter 4

Missy sipped the tea Stephanie had handed her and eyed the three kids watching Super Friends on the couch. "Okay," she said weakly. "So, my brother and two of his friends have been turned back into kids by his so-called best friend and the two women from the hallway. One of those two women is s'posed to be Shelly's girlfriend. S'posed to love him and be by his side. Instead," Missy's voice got twangier and began to hiss through her teeth faster, "she decided to upgrade him like he was a damned car. Take out the cassette player and put in satellite radio or something. You," she pointed to Penny, "came home and found out what had happened, took the boys in, and have been lookin' after them ever since. You," she indicated Stephanie, "were Shelly's doctor, still are I guess, and you're helping' Penny. Right?"

Stephanie nodded . "Yes. Now, those three dummies are supposed to be working on a cure. Some way to reverse this, but truthfully, we don't know if they can. They were initially only trying to modify the guys mentally. They were so intent on getting it done without anyone finding out what they were up to, they didn't spend time double checking their work. They thought themselves too smart to screw up. Bernadette's not even really sure how much of her own chemical was used. They have no idea if any external factors may have affected the boys."

Missy shook her head with confusion. "I don't understand even half of that." She felt a tug on her pants leg and looked down at the chubby dark skinned boy with a riot of curls. He held up his hands and whimpered. Missy reached for a couple of grapes from the fruit bowl and held them out for Raj before sending him back to the couch.

Penny reached over to tousle his hair as he walked by. "It means we may never figure out how to return them to adults. They may have to re-grow up," she said sadly.

"Shit," Missy murmured. She stood and smoothed the slacks she was wearing over her hips. "If you two will excuse me, I need to speak with Shelly's creepy girlfriend."

Missy walked to the kitchen table and opened her purse. As soon as Penny saw what she was reaching for, she darted across the room and snatched it from the Texas beauty's hands. "Okay, I get the urge, I really do. But you can't taser anyone. Not yet, anyway."

Missy glared at her. "They screwed with MY BROTHER!"

Stephanie nodded. "Yes, they did. And they will pay for it. But, unfortunately, we need them. They are the only ones who know about the drugs they used, and we need them to try and reverse this."

Penny slipped the taser into her pocket and sat back down at the island. Missy opened her mouth to argue but a small hand slipped into hers. She looked down at Sheldon who was sucking on his thumb. He laid his head against her thigh and whimpered. Missy knelt and pulled him into a loose hug. He surprised her by hugging her tightly around the neck.

Missy looked up at the other two women with a sigh. "Okay. I'll let it slide. For now."

"I do have a solution to our most pressing problem, though," Stephanie said calmly. "I called up my uncle and told him we had temporary custody of a couple of children and needed a larger place to stay until they could be returned to their parents. He had his lawyer drop off the keys to his house. Uncle Clarence only stays there in the winter, and he said we can use it for as long as we need. The backyard is large, and has an 8 foot security fence. Pool, laundry room, 5 bedrooms, and a fully stocked kitchen."

Penny felt relieved. Her little apartment was no place for kids, and they were very cramped in this tiny space. "How soon can we move in?"

"Tomorrow. I'm borrowing a van from one of the lab techs at work. It will make it easier and faster to move what we want."

Missy hugged Sheldon again and released him so he could go back to watching tv. "I should call Mom," she said finally.

Penny bit her bottom lip. "Okay," she said slowly, "I'm not saying that's a bad idea. But Missy, that's a _really _horrible idea. Think about it. One, can your mom handle this knowledge? Two, will she be a help, or will she go Mommie Dearest on Leonard, Amy and Bernadette?"

"Perhaps they could use a bit of Mommie Dearest," Stephanie muttered.

Missy shook her head. "No, she wouldn't do that. But you've never seen a Texas momma with a mad on. It wouldn't be pretty." Missy sighed and looked over at her little brother. "Okay, so no calling Mom. Listen, other than a bit of babysitting when I was a teen, I know little about taking care of kids."

Stephanie shrugged. "I've dealt with them at work, but that's it." Both women looked at Penny.

"I used to baby-sit my niece and nephew. Until I told my sister 'I love kids. They're great barbecued'. After that she was hesitant about leaving them with me." Penny stood and walked over to pull three sippy cups from the fridge. She grabbed a couple of cans of spaghetti O's from the cabinet and started to open them. Missy and Stephanie looked at each other and smiled slightly. They watched Penny move on autopilot.

"Look, people raise kids all the time. Surely we can too," Penny said as she placed the pot on the stove and started heating it up. She took the cups over to the coffee table and turned off the tv. The boys groaned and she patted Howard's head gently.

"Besides," Penny said as she returned to the kitchen to check on the food, "it's not like we're actually raising them. Surely Leonard and the girls will find a cure, right?"

Stephanie watched Penny spoon the lunch into little bowls. She took two and Missy took the other one. They placed them on the table for the boys while Penny cleaned up. Stephanie and Missy looked at her with a smile. Penny felt a sense of foreboding as she looked at her collaborators. "What?"

Missy shook her head with amusement. "Hello, Mommy."

Penny looked at the sponge in her hand and the clean pot in the dish drain. She looked over at the boys, eating happily. Her jaw dropped and she looked back at Missy. "Damn. How the hell did I do that?"

Stephanie stood and grinned. "For now, let's get some things packed up. We can worry about the details later, okay?"

Penny ran a hand across her eyes and sighed. Only two days and she was already starting to act like June Cleaver.

* * *

**AN: For those who asked where this fits in the timeline, it doesn't. For those who say "I just can't see Bernadette doing this", this is my story, my rules. I'm not wasting my time justifying it to anyone.**


	5. Chapter 5

Penny found that her many years of staying up all night dancing and drinking came in handy when dealing with three eerily smart, ADHD infested, shy yet energetic toddlers. She couldn't sit down for one second before one of the youngsters was off on an adventure to shove something as far up their nose as it would go. Luckily she got all of her stuff packed up and ready to go just as Missy went to buy some more milk and Stephanie had to go to work.

It was strange how the one kid who didn't stray from her side was Sheldon. Raj and Howard, much like when she met them, were inseparable. Penny swore those two were plotting their escape from the apartment in their own little baby-nese language. She closed her eyes with a tired sigh. She was worried, tired and a bit scared of the responsibility on her shoulders.

A little tug on her pants made her eyes open. Little Sheldon's extremely gorgeous (and a bit watery) blue eyes were staring up at her. His thumb was back in his mouth for the first time all day and his head was tilted. She smiled and reached down to pat his cheek. "I don't need a hot beverage…I'm ok." Little Sheldon smiled around his thumb and gave an unusual giggle before toddling back over to the TV. Penny shook her head with a bemused smile on her face. "What happened to THIS Sheldon?"

Missy came back to the apartment and put the bags down on Penny's kitchen island. Raj and Howard, almost seemingly to be released from the TV's hypnosis, hopped up and moved fast towards the Texan while Sheldon just continued to stare at the TV. Missy scooped both the boys up with her strong arms, hugged them, and the two boys kissed both her cheeks. She put them back down and patted their butts to go back to the TV.

"I swear they get cuter every minute," Missy said with a grin.

Penny watched Sheldon giggle at the Power Rangers. She couldn't disagree. She took a deep breath and sat down at the kitchen island. "I want your opinion on something."

Missy stopped putting away the groceries and looked at her curiously. "Sounds ominous."

Penny bit her bottom lip. "I called you because I knew you would be sensible, and I was hoping you could help me take care of Sheldon, Howard and Raj. I knew I couldn't do it by myself. I called Stephanie because she's a doctor. She's also someone Sheldon trusts, and I hoped she would know how to fix this, or at least explain what happened to me." Penny ran a hand through her hair. "I'm wondering if I should call Raj's sister, too. She's a lawyer, and she lives in India, but maybe we could use some legal advice."

Missy sat down and looked at Penny calmly. "Why didn't you call her to begin with?"

"Because there's a good possibility she would have flipped out," Penny admitted. "That she would have immediately went to the cops, and then my guys would be in a lab right now, being poked and prodded by every scientist who could squeeze into the room."

Missy shuddered involuntarily and shook her head. "Then we leave her in the dark until we can be sure the guys are in no danger of being taken away from us. I'll fight heaven and hell both to protect Shelly." She hadn't failed to notice how Penny laid claim to all three men...eh, babies...um, boys.

Penny nodded. "I feel the same. I have to keep my guys safe."

They watched the trio run around the boxes, giggling as they imitated the battle on the screen.

* * *

Penny took a moment to double check the cheesecake she was carrying before knocking on the door.

"Whose there?" A loud, worried voice yelled out. "Are you a rapist?"

Penny rolled her eyes. "No, ma'am. My name is Penny. I'm a friend of Howard's."

"What?!" Howard's mother yelled. "You're here for Howard's pennies?"

"No!" she answered loudly. "My _NAME_ is Penny! Howard is my friend! Can I come in?"

"Are you going to rob me?" Mrs. Wolowitz asked hostilely.

Penny hung her head and sighed. "I have cheesecake!"

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Mrs. Wolowitz asked. "Come in!"

She struggled to keep the smile off her face as the door was unlocked and Mrs. Wolowitz let her in. Penny followed her ponderous hostess into the kitchen where she immediately grabbed a couple of plates and forks. Penny took the dessert from it's box and sat down, waving away the dish and fork.

"No, thank you. I brought it for you. Howard told me how much you love the key lime cheesecake."

"You've seen my Howie? His assistant called and told me he was wrapped up in his work and wouldn't be home. I've been very worried about him. Howie never stays gone so long," Mrs. Wolowitz said, her eyes growing teary.

Penny nodded quickly. "That was me, ma'am. I'm Howard's assistant. See, he's working on something top secret right now, and has been quarantined. So, he sent me to check up on you and make sure you weren't worried."

"Oh my gawd! Is Howie in danger?" she shrieked.

Penny shook her head quickly. "No, ma'am. I promise you he is just fine. But he's going to be staying at work for a week or so. I thought I'd stop by, let you know what was going on, and give you my phone number. If you need anything at all, you just call me. As Howard's assistant I am happy to help you, too."

"My Howie is always taking care of me," Mrs. Wolowitz said proudly. She looked at Penny critically. "Aren't you the little girl who came to see Howie last year? You punched him, didn't you?"

Penny blushed and nodded. "Yes, ma'am. But we sorted that all out and are very good friends, now."

Mrs. Wolowitz smirked. "I love my bubalah, but I'm not blind. He hit on you, and you punched him. Never apologize for standing up for yourself, dearie. Now, are you sure you don't want some cheesecake? Jeopardy will be on soon."

Penny grinned at her. "I'm not hungry, but I'd like to watch Jeopardy with you."

Mrs. Wolowitz stood and carried the dessert into the den. "Wonderful. It's celebrity week. I just love that Alec Baldwin."

Penny followed her to the couch and sat down. She knew how much Howard loved his mom, despite his complaints. Keeping an eye on her was the least she could do until he was back to his own adult(ish) self.


	6. Chapter 6

_**(Ever try to move three women and three toddlers all at once? Don't. Burn everything to the ground and start over fresh in the new location. Clothes, books, food, sho….okay, not the shoes. But everything else? Burn it. Don't pack it. It's a hell of a lot less stressful, and besides, you're going to lose or break half your crap anyway. -Penny's Diary)**_

Penny looked at the cracked glass on Sheldon's Nimoy napkin and started to sniffle. She thought about what had happened last night when she had walked in, stormed past Leonard and Amy, right into Sheldon's bedroom and grabbed it off the wall. She had also packed up Meemaw's letters, his laptop, his journals, his comics, and his secret money stashes. (Two years ago Sheldon had shown her each one in case she ever needed emergency funds. Not that she would ever take his money without him knowing, of course.)

_Leonard had thrown a fit, demanding to know where she was taking those items, and Amy had demanded to see Sheldon. Penny had hesitated for a moment but with a sense of inevitability she went to get Sheldon. He and Amy had been in a relationship. Sheldon obviously cared about Amy, and once they (hopefully) restored him to his adult self, he would probably go back to being in that relationship. She had picked him up (was he getting heavier or was she getting weaker?) and carried him across the hall. _

_Amy immediately reached for him and pulled him onto her lap as she sat on the couch. Sheldon wiggled off immediately and sat down in his spot. Amy frowned for a second before giving him a bright smile. _

"_Sheldon, I've missed you," she said softly. "Have you missed me?"_

_Sheldon shoved his thumb in his mouth and kicked his legs rhythmically. He looked around the apartment curiously. Penny turned to pick up the last of Sheldon's things she had gathered, but Leonard stopped her. _

"_Penny, please," he said softly, giving her puppy eyes. "You have to understand, we were doing this for everyone's benefit! Sheldon and Amy would have finally been able to move forward. Howard and Bernadette would have finally been free of his mom's apron strings. Raj would have been able to find a girlfriend."_

_Penny looked at him calmly. "And us?" she asked._

_Leonard grinned widely, thinking he had finally convinced her. "We wouldn't have been tangled up in Sheldon's neurotic mess anymore. We wouldn't have to plan our lives around his stupid schedules and routines anymore!"_

_Penny had a moment of absolute clarity. Maybe because she hadn't had a drink in three days. Maybe because she was finally growing up because of her new responsibilities. Maybe because what they had done had shown her who they really were. Maybe all three combined. _

"_Leonard, I was wrong," she said softly. He smiled with smug confidence and she shook her head. "I thought you were the good guy. I thought that even though we were kind of boring together, we could make it work, because you loved me and I loved you. I was wrong. You love you, first and foremost. You want me, but you don't love me. I loved the way you fawned over me. No matter how shitty everything else was, you still wanted me."_

_Penny looked at him carefully, noting the anger in Leonard's eyes. She could almost see the wheels turning in his head. He was already trying to figure out how to turn this into someone else's fault. "I'm sorry Leonard. I'm sorry I wasted so much time for us both. I hope someday you figure out how to be happy. As for me, well, I think it would be better if you and I went our separate ways. It's time I grew up and acted my age."_

_She felt a tiny hand slip into hers and she looked down at Sheldon. His eyes were wide and he pressed his little body against her leg. "Go home?" he asked in a soft voice._

_Penny smiled and picked him up, and he wrapped his spindly arms around her neck. "Yes, Moon Pie. We'll go home." She glanced briefly at Amy, who looked furious and headed out the door._

"_You won't ever find someone who loves you like I do!" Leonard yelled._

_I hope not, Penny thought to herself as she entered her apartment and shut the door._

She placed the napkin on the table in the spacious kitchen and looked over at the boys. Sheldon and Howard were in the living room building a castle with Mega-Bloks. Raj was playing with Cocoa, the little Pomeranian dog that belonged to Stephanie. She didn't look away as Stephanie walked into the room with another box.

"This is the last of it," she said with a sigh of relief. "Missy and I are going to take the van back and pick up some lunch. Anything you want in particular?"

Penny moved away from the table and looked at the boys carefully. "Stephanie? Come here."

The doctor walked over and watched the boys build the castle with a smile. "They're so cute, aren't they?"

Penny walked over and picked up Howard. Sheldon stopped what he was doing and reached out to grab Penny's shirt hem. Penny looked at Stephanie. "Tell me he's not bigger," she said softly. "Look at their clothes. We just bought these two days ago and already they are outgrowing them."

Stephanie looked at the jeans Howard and Sheldon were wearing with wide eyes. "Holy crap! You're right," she said hopefully. "Okay, we need to start weighing and measuring them. Like, right now! Crap! Why didn't I think of this before?"

Penny nodded and set Howard down so she could look for a bathroom scale. Sheldon tugged on her shirt sharply and she looked at him. He was frowning and holding his arms out. "Up!" he demanded.

Penny picked him to see what he wanted and was surprised to see Sheldon turn and stick his tongue out at Howard. Then he threw his arms around her and laid his head against her neck.

"Looks like someone's jealous," Missy laughed as she came into the room. "He used to do that with Meemaw, too. Whenever Meemaw would hug either Junior or me, he would immediately crawl onto her lap and stake a claim."

Penny smiled softly. "Aww. That's so cute!" She hugged Sheldon tight and then put him down. She ruffled his hair and went in search of that scale.

The three women moved through the house and Sheldon turned toward Howard. He crossed his little arms over his chest and glared at his friend. "My Penny."

Raj ran by chasing the dog. Howard giggled and chased after Raj. Sheldon watched them for a moment and then went back to building the castle.


	7. Chapter 7

Missy opened her eyes with confusion. The bedside clock said it was only 1:47am. She heard a strange sound and sat up. At the foot of her bed were Raj and Howard, arms wrapped around each other tight. Before she could open her mouth a flash of lightning lit the room and thunder boomed overhead.

Immediately both boys scrambled up onto her bed and wrapped their arms around her throat tight. With a tender smile she pulled them both in against her sides and pulled the blanket over all of them. She settled back against the headboard and yawned widely.

"It's okay, darlings. How about I tell you a story?" she said. Both of them nodded quickly and she took a second to cuddle them closer. "Once upon a time in the sunny land of India there was a little funny mongoose named Rikki-Tikki-Tavi."

* * *

Penny rubbed her eyes as she made her way back to her bedroom from the bathroom. She stopped short when she saw little Sheldon knocking forlornly on her door. He was sniffling and holding tight to her Playful Heart Monkey. When had he gotten his hands on that?

"Moon Pie? What's wrong?" she asked gently.

He jumped slightly and then turned and ran to her. "I'm scared," he cried softly. Just then thunder rumbled loudly overhead and he threw his arms around her tight.

Penny picked him up with a grunt. He was getting so big! She carried him toward his room, feeling a bit concerned when she saw Howard and Raj's bedroom door open and the beds empty. She relaxed when she heard Missy talking, and the boys giggling. She walked into Sheldon's room and settled him on his bed. She sat down on the edge and pulled the covers up to his chin.

She smiled reassuringly at him and ran her fingers through his ruffled hair. "Would you like me to sing Soft Kitty to you?" Sheldon nodded quickly and gave her the sweetest smile. Penny tucked Playful Heart in beside him, resigned to losing her monkey. She sang softly, watching Sheldon's eyes droop a little more with each verse. Soon he was sound asleep, his little body ramrod straight under the blankets, the monkey held tightly in his arm.

She yawned again as she quietly left the room. She heard the front door open and headed to the kitchen. Stephanie was shedding her lab coat wearily. Penny flipped the switch on the coffee pot, knowing it would only take a couple of minutes to brew. "Rough night?"

Stephanie nodded. "Three car accidents, a shooting, and two domestic fights, on top of the regular drug overdoses, accidents, and one really nasty dog bite. How was your day?"

Penny grabbed some mugs from the cabinet and sat on a stool. "I made an appointment to see the guy's boss tomorrow. I have no idea what I'm going to say, but I'll have to tell him something to explain why the three of them won't be working any time soon. They've already missed five days of work. Howard and Raj broke the stuffed cougar in the den. I think they were trying to ride it like a horse. Sheldon has outgrown his shoes already. Missy quit her job since she can't go back for a while. Mrs. Cooper threatened to come up here and drag her home, so she lied and said she was staying here for a little bit because she found a great job. Eventually Mrs. Cooper is going to get suspicious and come see what's going on, though."

Stephanie poured them coffee and sat down. "Well, I can make the lie a reality, if that helps. My uncle needs a new assistant. Someone to make travel arrangements, pay bills, make appointments, and handle correspondence. If I ask, he'll give her a shot."

Penny looked impressed. "That would be awesome! We'll mention it in the morning."

Stephanie looked worried. "I have no idea what to do about Howard's boss, though."

Penny sipped her coffee and sighed. "Honestly, I think our only option is the truth. Bring him here, let him see the boys, and hope he doesn't have a heart attack. I mean, Seibert's put up with a lot of weird things from these guys and never tossed them out. Maybe he can even help. If he doesn't have that heart attack, I mean."

Stephanie smirked and reached for the batman cookie jar she had filled with fig newtons. "Good thing I know CPR, huh?"

* * *

President Seibert stared at the pretty blonde sitting across from him wondering whether he should call security or an ambulance. She was obviously mentally unbalanced. Or on drugs. Maybe both.

Penny sighed and stood up. "Okay, I can see you don't believe me, and I expected that. So, how about I prove it to you?"

Seibert watched her warily. "How do you intend to do that?"

She pulled her purse strap over her shoulder and smiled. "Come see the guys for yourself. You can follow me to the house, and visit with Sheldon, Howard and Raj. Look, if I'm lying, you can fire Sheldon. He'll be one less pain in your butt."

Seibert couldn't help feeling intrigued by this exchange. He had no intention of firing Cooper. Sure, the crazy scientist was a pain in the ass, but he was also a good bet when it came to future Nobel winners. He stood and pulled on his jacket. "Okay, Ms. Queen. Let's go see the guys." He walked over to the door and grabbed the handle. He looked at her with a stern expression. "But if this is some sort of Cooper joke, I'll send him to Antarctica with only a pup tent and a flashlight."

* * *

Sheldon looked up when the door opened, having heard Penny's car pull into the garage. He was smiling widely as she entered the house. His smile faded when he saw the man entering behind her.

Seibert felt a bit faint as he stared at the three kids. They were about the size of 5 yr olds, but there was no denying who these three kids were. No one could do superior like Cooper. And seeing a kid look at him with such arrogance was, to be honest, a bit unnerving. He cleared his throat and looked at Penny. "Okay. I believe you. What can I do to help?"

"Arrange for the guys to be absent for a little while," she said with relief. Sheldon walked over and crawled up on her lap, looking at Seibert with suspicion. Penny patted his back gently. "They're growing by leaps and bounds. Four days ago, they looked about two years old. Stephanie, she's an MD by the way, thinks the drugs are wearing off, and that within two months, they'll be back to their real ages. If they keep growing like they have been, that is."

Seibert nodded and started to speak, but the door opened and Missy walked in. Raj ran over for a hug immediately and she looked at Seibert worriedly. "Hello. I'm Missy Cooper. You must be Shelly's boss."

Seibert nodded and stood to shake her hand. "Hello, Ms. Cooper. Yes, I'm Greg Seibert. Please don't be alarmed. I'm here to help."

Missy relaxed and sat down on the armchair. "Good, because we've already got all the troubles we can handle. We can use all the help we can get."

Seibert looked back at Penny. "About Hofstadter…"

"If you don't mind, we'd like to put off dealing with them for a bit. We want to get the boys back to normal and let them decide what to do," Penny said firmly. "They are the ones harmed, and it only seems fair they be the ones to decide Leonard, Amy and Bernadette's fate."

Seibert was silent for a few minutes. "I can't promise not to take action against them later, but I will agree to postponing punishments until Cooper, Wolowitz and Koothrappali are adults again."

Penny smiled at him warmly. "Thank you."

Seibert smiled back at her. He didn't fail to notice the petulance in Sheldon's eyes, though.

* * *

**AN: From here on out, I'm speeding things up a bit. I've established what happened and how it happened and now we'll move on to Penny dealing with three precocious, way-to-smart toddlers who are growing by leaps and bounds.**


	8. Chapter 8

Penny had known it was just a matter of time before Lamette (as she had taken to referring to Leonard, Amy and Bernadette in her mind) found out where they were. A simple check of Sheldon's bank account had shown them where his debit card was being used. After that Amy simply staked out the nearby shopping center until she saw Penny, and then she followed her back to the estate.

She watched the house for two days before she got her opportunity. She watched Penny and that arrogant redhead drive away, probably to spend more of her boyfriend's money. As soon as they were gone, she walked up to the front door.

Missy was just laying out lunch for the kids when the doorbell rang. She went to answer it, wiping her hands on a hand towel.

"Guys! Come eat," she called out as she opened the door. The smile she had been wearing faded when she saw the angry brunette. "What are _you_ doing here?" she demanded.

Amy's eyes narrowed. "I want to see Sheldon," she demanded crisply. "And if I don't, I'll be back with the police, and have you all arrested for kidnapping!"

Missy smirked. "I dare you," she laughed. "Go ahead. Call the cops. Let's see what they have to say about you're role in all this."

Amy's hands curled around her purse strap like claws. She struggled to clear her expression. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'm just worried about Sheldon. I don't know what Penny has told you, but what happened was a horrible accident. Please, I love Sheldon, and would never hurt him! Penny has been trying to keep us apart for a long time. Now she's stealing his money, and holding him hostage. He's your brother! Surely you have some say in this. I just want to see him."

Missy was a Texan. She knew all about bull. She was trying to decide whether to throw the woman out bodily or not when a voice spoke up behind her.

"Penny isn't a thief." Both women looked at Sheldon, Howard and Raj standing in the foyer. Sheldon's seven year old body was already showing signs of being lanky. He was a head taller than Howard and Raj both. "I don't like you," he said sullenly, crossing his arms over his thin chest.

Missy turned back to Amy. "Well, I guess that's that. Shelly doesn't want to see you. As for Penny 'stealing' Shelly's money, you couldn't be more wrong. Penny's name is on that account. Shelly added her to it six months ago in case of emergencies."

Amy's jaw dropped. "What? But Sheldon and I have been dating for almost a year! Why didn't you ever tell me this?" she demanded, looking at Sheldon accusingly.

"He added me in case of emergencies," Penny said from behind the brunette. Amy spun to face her, but Penny just moved past her, carrying the bags from the deli into the house. She set the bags down on the hall table and faced Amy. "In March he made me his emergency contact and added me to his bank account and savings account. That way, if he was ever sick, or injured, I would be able to take care of him."

Amy's eyes darkened with hate. "Do you really expect me to believe MY boyfriend would trust a drunken slut over his college educated girlfriend? I'm a respected scientist! You're a mediocre waitress!"

"You're a meanie!" Howard said loudly.

Sheldon grabbed onto Penny's hand and tugged her toward him. "I don't like her," he said worriedly. "Make her go away."

Penny knelt down and smoothed Sheldon's youth size Flash shirt. "It's okay, sweetie. Why don't you three go to the backyard? You can fly the new kites, okay?"

Howard and Raj grabbed Sheldon's hands and pulled him through the hallway toward the back door. As soon as they were out of sight Penny turned back to Amy. "You are not welcome here. You have no claim on Sheldon. If you try to harass any of us again, I'll go to your boss about what you, Leonard and Bernadette did," Penny said coldly. "Missy, close the door. We're done here."

Missy slammed the door shut and locked the deadbolt. She looked at Penny with a sigh. "How did Shelly get mixed up with such unstable people?"

Penny picked up the bags and sighed heavily. "Until now, we all thought she was just like Sheldon. Serious, smart, and a little quirky. She had us completely fooled."

"So did Leonard," Missy replied. "I thought he was Shelly's best friend. Now I have to wonder if he was ever my brother's friend at all."

The two women carried the new purchases to the bedrooms and removed the tags before hanging them up. The guys grew so fast that Penny only bought a couple of outfits for each. Any more than that, and they'd have outgrown them before they got to wear them.

* * *

Penny was cleaning up the banquet room when Bernadette finally worked up the nerve to approach her. She watched Penny wipe down a table and nervously cleared her throat. Penny barely spared her a glance, making her hesitate even more. She could almost feel the anger pouring off Penny as she approached.

Bernadette took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Can we talk?"

"What about?" Penny asked stiffly.

"About Howie," she said softly.

"No," Penny said shortly.

"Penny, just listen to me," Bernadette pleaded. "I love Howard. I would never have done anything to hurt him intentionally. I was trying to help him. You know how warped his relationship with his mom is. He's spent his life catering to her, and the guilt of his father leaving keeps him tied to her. I just wanted to ease that a little."

"It wasn't your place," Penny said, turning her head toward her former friend. "How would you feel if he had tried to separate you from your brother, Joey? And don't kid yourself. You weren't doing this for Howard's benefit. You did it because you don't approve of his relationship with his mom. How many times have I heard you complain about how he takes care of her? You, Amy and Leonard don't seem to realize what you have done."

Penny turned to face her fully, anger making her body shake. "I keep hearing your three say you love one of us. You love Howard. Amy loves Sheldon. Leonard loves me. Everything was for everyone's benefit. Bull! You endangered them! You put them at risk, Bernadette! What if this has damaged their minds? What will you do if they keep aging like they are doing? By the end of the year, they could be old men! You may yet kill them, and all you care about is justifying yourselves!"

Tears poured down Bernadette's cheeks as she listened to Penny. "I just wanted to help him," she mumbled.

Penny shook her head firmly. "But you didn't. You harmed him. You harmed all three of them. And personally, I'll never be able to trust you again."

"I'm sorry," Bernadette whispered.

"So am I, Bernadette," Penny said emotionlessly. "So am I." She grabbed the tub of dirty dishes and walked away.


	9. Chapter 9

Sheldon tugged on Penny's hand urgently as they walked through Wal-mart. "Penny? May I have that?" he asked softly.

She looked at the large dry-erase/cork board combo with wall mounts on the back he was pointing at. "Sweetie, why do you want it?" she asked, trying to contain her hope.

"I can work on it," he said shyly.

Penny knelt and brushed his hair back from his forehead. "You miss physics, don't you?"

Sheldon nodded and scuffed the toe of his new sneaker on the floor. "I'll be good," he promised.

Penny pulled him into a tight hug, tears welling up in her eyes. "You're always good, Moon Pie." She set him back away from her so she could look at him again. "Instead of a cheap board like this, how about we go to that office place and get you some real white boards and markers? I bet I can even find a low easel just your height."

Sheldon's smile spread all the way across his face and he darted forward to kiss her cheek. "I love you, Penny!"

She felt her heart melt a little at his innocence and stood back up. "Come on, sweetie. Let's get the rest of the things we need and we'll go." Penny grabbed the shampoos, bubble baths and Midol she was there for and went to find the others.

Howard and Stephanie were in the hardware department. Howard was trying to convince Stephanie to let him buy a toolkit. Penny smiled and tossed the one he wanted into the cart. They found Missy and Raj in the toy department, looking at globes that projected constellations on the ceiling. The largest one got added to their purchases. Once everything was paid for and packing into Stephanie's SUV, they headed to Office Max. The women watched the three kids run around with delight.

"Do you think they remember who they were?" Stephanie asked.

Penny nodded. "I think they know at least some of it. They're kids, no doubt about it, but I think who they are is so deeply imbedded in them, they can't help but grow back up into who they were."

A salesman tapped Missy on the shoulder. "Excuse me, miss," he said with a friendly smile. "Your little boy wants a telescope. I thought I'd better check with you before I let him play with one."

Missy grinned toward Penny. "Of course he does." She turned to follow the salesman. "Show me what Raj wants."

Howard ran up and tugged on Stephanie's hand. "Come look at this!" he said happily. "I can build a laser with this stuff!" Stephanie rolled her eyes with a grin.

"No lasers!" Penny called after them. "He's only 9!" She shook her head warily and went in search of Sheldon. She found him debating marker brands to himself three aisles over. "Whatcha doing?" she asked curiously.

Sheldon looked up at her with wide eyes. "This pack has four colors in it, and this pack has two colors, but a different size tip on each end."

Penny took both packs from his hands. "Well, then we'll just have to get both. Now, what about boards?"

Sheldon's grin reminded her of the kids she would see at Christmas time in the mall, sitting on Santa's lap, so full of joy and wonder. She followed him to the next aisle where he picked out three boards. Missy found a small artist's easel that adjusted to different heights.

By the time they all got back to the house, the kids were hyper excited about their new equipment, and the women just wanted a nap.

* * *

President Seibert looked at the woman standing in his office with trepidation. "Please have a seat," he said, outwardly calm. "I understand you are trying to locate Dr. Koothrapplai."

"Yes," the woman replied in a cultured voice. "I have been unable to contact him for two weeks now, and my family and I are growing very worried. I went by his office but it looks as though he hasn't been in for weeks. So, my question to you is, where is my brother?"

President Seibert cleared his throat nervously. "Miss Koothrappali, you may not believe this but…"

* * *

Penny paced nervously as she waited on Raj's sister to arrive. She had a sinking feeling things were about to go to hell in a hand basket, and there was nothing she could do to prevent it. At the moment the guys were out back watching her friend Zack put together the platform she had asked him to build for the telescope. Missy was frantically running around making sure the house was spotless, and Stephanie was fixing up a cot in Missy's room for herself, in case Priya decided to stay.

A loud knock made her jump nervously. Penny smoothed her hair and opened the door. "Hi, Greg. Come on in. Hello, Priya. Welcome."

Priya nodded once at Penny. "I'd like to speak to my brother. President Seibert said he was staying here for a few weeks, working on something important. Where is he?"

Penny looked at Greg worriedly. "Please have a seat, Priya. I'll try to explain what's going on."

Priya sat down on an armchair primly. "I think I can work out for myself what is going on. You and Raj have taken up with one another. Again. He is embarrassed, and does not want his family to know about it."

Penny's jaw dropped as she stared at the lawyer. Before she could say anything at all the backdoor opened and Howard came running in. He skidded to a stop when he saw Priya. "Oh shit!" he yelped.

Penny shot to her feet. "Howard! You do NOT use that kind of language!"

He looked at Penny with wide eyes. "Sorry!" He spun and took off. "Raj! You're sister is here! Hide!"

Penny slapped a hand to her forehead wearily. Greg couldn't help a soft chuckle. Priya looked confused as she stood and watch the kid run off. Before Penny could think of something to say, the backdoor slammed open again.

"Priya!" a youthful voice called out happily. The normally sensible Indian woman had to take several deep, slow breaths to calm herself as she watched her younger brother run up to her and hug her tight around the waist.

Slowly she eased back into the chair and looked at him carefully. She licked her dry lips and touched a small curl by his ear. "Rajesh? Is this really you?"

He grinned widely and her and nodded. "I've missed you! Do you have any peppermints?"

Absent-mindedly she reached into her pocket and pulled out a couple of the hard candies she always carried with her. Raj snatched them and kissed her cheek quickly. "Thanks!" Then he darted off toward the backyard.

Penny sat down across from Priya and smiled nervously at her. "Now, I know this is very strange, but I need you to listen to me. First, the boys are healthy. You need to keep that in mind. We're taking good care of them. They're aging pretty fast. Soon they should be back to their normal selves." Penny hesitated worriedly.

"How?" Priya growled.

Penny looked at Greg who was watching Priya carefully.

"Their friends did it." Missy walked into the room and looked at Priya steadily. "Leonard, Amy and Bernadette. They thought Shelly, Howard and Raj were defective in some way and tried to alter them with some drug a couple of weeks ago."

"Weeks?!" Priya growled. "Why am I just finding this out?! Why didn't anyone call me or my parents?!"

"That was my call," Penny admitted. "I was afraid that you would call the cops on Leonard, Amy and Bernadette."

"I intend to!" Priya yelled reaching for her phone. Penny felt like the world was about to crash and burn.


	10. Chapter 10

"_I intend to!" Priya yelled. _

"And then they'll take the guys from you," Greg said calmly. "They'll end up in a lab somewhere being treated like specimens. Do you realize what has happened here?"

Priya looked at him warily. "What are you talking about?"

Greg leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "Fountain of Youth. What those three did was create a youth serum. Sort of. Pharmaceutical companies have been trying to do that for decades. Private labs would do anything to get their hands on those three boys and find out how it was done. And they wouldn't care what happens to them, either."

The blood drained from Priya's face and she placed a hand over her hammering heart. "Rajesh? Being experimented on? They can't!" She turned to Penny. "We have to stop that!"

"We're trying," Penny assured her. "We've moved them here, to keep them safer. The drug seems to be wearing off, because they are aging pretty fast. Two weeks ago they looked like two year olds. Now they are about 9 or 10. Stephanie, she's a friend and a medical doctor, thinks they should be back to their true ages in five more weeks."

"I've arranged for a leave of absence for the three men, telling everyone they are working on a very important project. I have not taken action against Hofstadter, yet, out of respect for Wolowitz, Koothrappali and Cooper. In fact, Hofstadter has no idea I even know about this."

"We can't let them get away with this!" Priya said angrily.

"And we won't," Missy assured her. "But we think it's only right that we let the guys decide what to do. As soon as they are back to themselves, we have to let them make the decision. My brother has been harmed, too, you know."

Priya struggled to assert her dominance over the group, but one look at the stubbornness in Penny's eyes, and the calm acceptance of Penny's leadership in Seibert's and Missy's expressions made her sigh. "What can I do?" she finally asked.

"Keep quiet about this. Don't tell anyone. Just give us some time, okay?" Penny asked.

Priya nodded hesitantly. "Okay. For now."

Penny knew it was the best she was going to get out of Priya. She nodded and stood up. "Now, we fixed up a bed for you if you want to stay a day or two, and you can meet Stephanie. Maybe spend some time with Raj." She glanced at Greg with a smile. "We're having fried chicken and corn on the cob for dinner if you both are hungry."

Greg smiled regretfully at Penny. "I would love to, but it's my weekend with my daughter and I promised her a musical and dinner out."

Penny nodded understandingly. "Okay. Maybe next time."

"Absolutely," Greg said with a warm smile. Penny walked him to the door while Priya walked to the backdoor to watch her little brother play with his friends on the half-built platform.

She looked at Missy worriedly. "What about his mind?" she asked worriedly. "Rajesh's first love has always been the stars."

Missy smiled softly at the little star gazer fondly. "It still is. We were worried, too, but they seem to still have their love of science. I don't know how much they remember about what happened, but they are still three super smart boys. Shelly is still working on these elaborate math formulas, Howard just built a robot to guard their room, and Raj spent most of last night watching a meteor shower."

"If those idiots lost him even one brain cell," Priya said ominously.

"We'll crush them," Penny said fiercely as she joined them.

"With extreme prejudice," Stephanie said, walking over. Missy introduced Priya to the other woman while Penny watched Sheldon examining every nail carefully before handing it to Zack. Little things like that made her hopeful that Sheldon was still Sheldon. Just smaller.

* * *

"I believe I may owe you an apology," Priya said the next morning as she sipped her coffee.

Penny looked at her with blurry eyes as she stumbled to the kitchen table. Oh yeah. Priya was here. 7am was way too early to deal with a lawyer. "mmmm," she said as she slumped in a chair and laid her head on her folded arms.

A moment later a mug of fresh hot coffee appeared by her arm and she grabbed it gratefully. She took two sips, grimaced at the lack of milk or sugar, and sipped some more. Halfway through the drink Penny finally focused on the amused cocoa eyes of their guest. "Morning," she mumbled.

Priya laughed lightly. "Not a morning person?"

"It's a skill I'm relearning," Penny sighed. "I thought when I left the family farm I was done getting up at the crack of dawn. But, Stephanie works afternoons at the hospital, and Missy works mornings for Stephanie's uncle, and that means I have to be bright eyed and bushy tailed before the boys get up and begin their antics."

"What kind of antics?" Priya asked.

"Three days ago Howard poured Jell-O into the pool. How they planned to heat it is anyone's guess, but their intention was a pool sized serving of lime Jell-O and three spoons. Instead they clogged the filtering system, which shorted out. It cost us almost $800 to fix and clean the pool. Last week Sheldon and Raj got to fighting. Every few minutes I would find them rolling on the floor, wrestling and fighting. Turns out, Sheldon had a stash of Jelly Belly root-beer jellybeans, and Raj had eaten them."

Penny paused when the sound of running floated down the hall. "And there's the Yam Incident."

"Yam Incident?" Priya asked curiously.

"Raj and Howard built potato guns. Only we didn't have any potatoes. So, they got even more creative. They used tomatoes, oranges, plums, and lastly, yams. Yams are not round. They have tapered ends. And when shot with enough force, can put a hole through a shed wall."

Priya's eyes widened. "No."

Penny nodded and stood up. She stepped out onto the back veranda and pointed to the small tool shed near the back fence. Priya could only stare, wide-eyed at the large holes forming a smiley face on the side of the shed.

Priya turned to say something but thin arms wrapped around her thighs. She looked down at her tiny brother and felt her heart melt at the genuine affection shining up at her.

"I love you so much, Pri! More than all the stars!" Raj said before taking off to join his friends with their kites.

She swallowed the lump in her throat as she watched the three boys run and play. Penny patted her arm lightly, drawing her attention. "He's never told me he loves me like that," she said softly. Suddenly her eyes widened. "He talked in front of us! Raj has always been unable to talk to any woman outside of our family! How is this possible?"

Penny shook her head. "I don't know. I guess, despite the harm they did, Lamette's drug works."

"Lamette?" Priya asked.

"Leonard, Amy and Bernadette, all combined to one word," Penny turned to the yard. "Breakfast in 30 minutes! I want clean hands and faces, you hooligans!" She headed back into the kitchen with a yawn.

Priya followed and looked around the kitchen. "Can I help? I make wonderful crepes."

Penny smiled widely. "If you can make even halfway decent crepes, you'll be my new best friend."

Priya laughed aloud, and headed toward the fridge to find what she needed. Penny moved to the stove to begin making pancakes.


	11. Chapter 11

Priya carried two steaming mugs of cocoa across the yard to the platform. She silently watched her brother fiddle with the knobs on the telescope. When he stood and looked up at the sky she cleared his throat. "What are you looking at?" she asked.

Raj looked over his shoulder at her. She was surprised by the confidence in those approximately 10 year old eyes. "I am searching for Cassiopeia," he said softly. "It's a bit hard to see in the city, but up here, it's very bright." He waved her closer with his tiny hand and pointed to the lens. "Cassiopeia if formed by five bright stars forming a 'W' shape."

Priya dutifully looked through the scope, even though she had never been able to see the pictures in the stars that so fascinated her brother. She straightened back up and handed him a mug. "Raj, how much do you remember about your past?" she asked calmly.

He looked up at her with a sly smile. "You're way too smart for your britches, as our mother would say. We remember everything. We may have the bodies of children, and the limitations that come with them, but we've never lost our intellects or our memories."

"Why the subterfuge?" Priya asked. "Why not just tell everyone you are still you?"

"Because for once in our lives, we were free of obligations. We could do as we pleased. At first we were babies, with no ability to speak. By the time we could, we had discovered we had a lot of freedom." Raj looked up at the stars, the worldliness in his eyes at odds with his youthful body.

"Pri, the three of us are not like other people. We never have been. We're outsiders. People look at us and only see our oddness. Until Penny." He sighed and sat down on the platform, his short legs swinging in a childlike way.

"Penny never really understood us, but she accepted us. She forged a connection to us in the most bullheaded way possible. She fit herself into our likes, and our lives. She cares for us, Pri. I mean, she really and truly cares for us. No one outside our families has ever done so much for us. Even before this," he waved a hand indicating his body, "she was the one person we could rely on. Now, she's brought Missy and Stephanie into our lives again, and they love us, too."

Priya gave him a watery smile. "Raj, I love you, too. You know that right?"

He grabbed the hand closest to him and smiled at her. "And I love you. But this is different. We're accepted by them, Pri. The only familial obligation is Missy and Sheldon and he's too firmly attached to Penny for that to count. They love us, simply because they see something in us worth loving."

Priya squeezed his hand tight. "You have always been worth loving, Rajesh Koothrappali. Never doubt that."

"I don't," he said softly. "Not now."

* * *

Stephanie sat down at the table beside Missy and grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl. "Working hard?"

Missy looked up from the paperwork in front of her. "Just going over Mr. Castle's schedule for next week. I owe you for finding me this job. I love it! Your uncle is a sweetheart to work for, and his wife is adorable! We've been skyping every night and she's hilarious!"

Stephanie nodded with a grin. "Aunt Norma is like a 4'8" Irish version of Madea. She even packs a snub nose in her purse for emergencies."

Howard and Sheldon ran past them, calling back something about testing a theory as they went. Missy shook her head with amusement. "They're growing so fast."

Stephanie nodded, a small frown marring her features.

Missy caught the look and turned toward her. "What?"

Stephanie stood and walked over to the living room door and watched them draw numbers and symbols on a white board. "I think I'm dreading the day they no longer need us," Stephanie sighed. "I almost wish they would grow more slowly so this doesn't end so quickly."

She turned to face Missy. "Being here, with you, Penny and the boys…well, it's the happiest I've been in a long time. I'll miss this."

Missy's smile was understanding as she walked over and hugged the doctor. "I know how you feel," she whispered.

* * *

Greg Seibert was surprised to find Penny and Priya had made an appointment to speak to him. He waved the two women into his office and sat down behind his desk. He smiled warmly at Penny, and (he couldn't resist) a bit fondly at Priya. The lawyer reminded him of his sister. He had seen her shark side, when she interrogated him about her brother, but he had also seen her tender side when she was with her brother.

"So, what can I do for you two lovely ladies?" he asked.

Priya held out some papers for him. "These are hand written statements from me, Penny, Missy and Stephanie about what happened to the boys. I don't want to ever use them, unless forced to by Lamette."

Greg nodded his understandingr. "Okay. So you are giving them to me?" he asked.

"If you wouldn't mind, I would also like one from you, explaining everything you have personally witnessed. Whatever plans my brother and his friends have for the three who betrayed them, I intend to make sure they never harm Raj, Howard or Sheldon again. These statements would end their careers."

"Blackmail?" he asked calmly.

"Insurance," Priya corrected.

After a moment he nodded and stood up. He opened the small wall safe and slid the papers inside. "I'll write mine up tonight."

Priya stood with a smile. "Great. Now, it's almost 4pm. How about you two drop me off at the house, and then maybe you two could grab a bite to eat." Priya walked out of the office leaving a blushing Penny and a smiling Greg looking at each other.

Slowly Greg smiled. "Do you like Italian?"

* * *

Penny put the dirty laundry in the washing machine and headed toward the kitchen to start lunch. The last week had been a lot less stressful than she had anticipated. Priya had stayed 10 days, until she was assured that the boys were growing and they were being well cared for. Then she flew home because she had a big court case coming up. She and Priya had hit it off, and the not-so-stern-after-all lawyer had made Penny promise to keep her apprised of what was going on.

Penny was passing by Howard and Raj's room when she heard a whimper. She paused, listening closely. A moan made her reach for the door handle. Please don't let one of them be sick, she thought to herself. She opened the door and looked around the edge, hoping not to disturb whichever boy it was if he was asleep.

Penny's eyes widened and she quickly shut the door. She clamped a hand over her mouth and hurried away. Missy looked up from the shopping list she was writing out and Stephanie paused her dusting to walk over. "You look like you've seen a ghost," Missy said worriedly.

Penny looked at the two women and shuddered. "Which one of you is missing the Victoria's Secret catalog?"

Missy frowned. "How'd you know?"

"I found it," Penny said ominously. "And you do NOT want it back."

Missy looked confused but Stephanie snorted with suppressed laughter. "Which one?" the redhead asked.

Penny shuddered harder. "Howard."

Suddenly Missy caught on and she looked a bit weirded out. Stephanie shook her head with amusement. "It's a natural phase in a boy's life," she reminded them.

"Doesn't mean I have to know about it," Penny said firmly. "In fact, I'd like it very much if one of you would hit me on the head until I get amnesia, please." Missy and Stephanie smirked at her, and she growled. "Wait until one of you walk in on one of them. It won't be so funny then."

By the time the weekend was over, both women had to agree with Penny. They also learned to hide their underwear, since Howard was a whiz at picking locks, and Raj had a preference for silk. Sheldon was the only one they didn't walk in on. If he had hit puberty yet, he kept it to himself.


	12. Chapter 12

Penny sighed happily as she sank down into the tub of hot water and placed the washcloth over her eyes. Jasmine bubbles tickled her nose and she felt her muscles loosen up and relax. Seven weeks of pseudo parenting had really taken it's toll. How the hell did women do it for 18 years?

She smirked at the knowledge that Missy and Stephanie were currently in charge. Sheldon, Howard and Raj were three very hyper, way-too-smart, way too unruly wards and it was her night off. They had decided after that first week that each of them would have one night a week, 12 uninterrupted hours, just to themselves, and this was hers.

This was especially necessary since the guys had hit puberty earlier this week.

God, she couldn't wait until they moved past this. Howard in puberty was a disturbing, highly uncomfortable situation. I swear, she thought with a shudder, if I walk in on him playing with himself one more time, I'm buying him a damn chastity belt!

Penny reached for her loofah blindly. Suddenly it was placed in her hand and she shrieked. She ripped the cloth from her eyes, while grabbing the towel from the edge of the tub where she had placed it. Penny looked up to find Sheldon staring at her with a grin.

"Sheldon?! What the hell are you doing in here?"

He shrugged casually. He sat on the edge of the tub and reached out to pick up a lock of hair. "You are very pretty," he said with a wink. "Do you like cowboys? They say everything is bigger in Texas."

Penny's jaw dropped and she closed her eyes. "Oh. My. God." She pushed Sheldon's hand from her hair. "MISSY!"

Penny scrambled to her feet, wrapping the sopping wet towel around her as best she could. "MISSY!"

The door opened and Stephanie and Missy rushed in. Penny swatted the hand Sheldon was trying to place on her hip. "Get him out of here!" she screeched. Missy grabbed Sheldon by the ear and dragged him out of the bathroom.

Stephanie bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Who would have thought Dr. Sheldon Cooper could be a player?"

Penny glared at her. "Not funny! Good lord, what has gotten into him?"

"Hormones," Stephanie laughed.

Penny tried to glare at her, but the absurdity of the situation was getting the best of her. "And here I was thinking that Howard going through puberty was awkward. Sheldon going through it is just plain wrong."

Stephanie laughed harder and exited the bathroom. Penny sighed and climbed out of the tub. She wouldn't be able to relax again now. She dried off and pulled on her pajamas. She wrapped a towel around her head and headed to her bedroom. Maybe a good night's sleep would help her forget this incident!

* * *

The one thing that Stephanie didn't do, was suffer fools gladly. So, when Leonard showed up at her office on Saturday with flowers, it was all she could do to _not_ strap him to a gurney and remove his spleen. Without anesthetic. She crossed her arms to keep her hands to herself. "What do you want, Leonard?"

He looked at her with big puppy eyes. "Stephanie, you know me. You know I would never do anything to hurt anyone. This just ...got out of control. We're trying to reverse it, and I think we're close. If I could just get a blood sample from the three of them..."

Stephanie snorted. "No."

Leonard's eyes narrowed a fraction. "But it would really help us figure out the safest way to return them to their real ages."

She walked over and opened her door. "No need. They're aging pretty fast. Almost adults, actually. So you see, the boys don't need you. NONE of us need you."

Leonard's jaw dropped. "Aging? It's wearing off?" He tossed the flowers onto the chair and ran a hand through his hair. "It can't! When the backers find..." Leonard clamped his mouth shut quickly.

"Backers?!" Stephanie hissed. "You were planning on selling your little drug?" Stephanie growled. "That's why you wanted the blood samples, isn't it? To check for side effects! You bastard! Get out! Get out before I call Penny and ask her to help me hide a body!"

Leonard stared at the fury in his ex's eyes and paled. He scrambled out the door as fast as he could. He didn't stop running until he was in his car, speeding down the street. He was so terrified that when he saw the flashing lights behind him, he was sure Stephanie had called the cops on him. 20 minutes later he was arrested for speeding, reckless driving and trying to evade the police. He had to spend the weekend in jail until a judge could set his bail.

* * *

A knock on the door drew Penny and Missy out of the kitchen. The guys (they couldn't really call them boys anymore since they were close to 15 or 16 in age now) were out in the backyard with their paintball guns. Penny opened the door and grinned. "Hello, Greg. How are you?"

Greg smiled fondly at the comely blonde. "Hello, Penny. I thought I would stop by and see how Dr. Cooper, Dr. Koothrappali and Mr. Wolowitz were doing."

Penny led the way to the living room while Missy went for tea. She sighed wearily as she sat beside him on the couch. "You know, if someone had told me that keeping watch over teen boys would make me want to gouge my eyes out with a spork, I would have thought they were insane."

Greg smiled reassuringly. "I am positive you are doing the very best you can. When I was here a few days ago, they were very well behaved young men."

Penny snorted. "I threatened to cut off their internet and TV privileges if they did anything embarrassing."

He laughed and reached out to give her hand a squeeze. Penny smiled, liking the way his eyes crinkled in the corners. "Penny, no one could ask more of you. You have gone above and beyond when it comes to those three men. I am sure they are very grateful to you. I know I have been impressed over and over by your concern and empathy."

"This looks cozy." Penny and Greg looked over to see Sheldon standing in the doorway of the kitchen. He was holding his paintball gun in one hand and a Mountain Dew in the other. Howard and Raj were behind him, looking uncomfortable.

"Hello, Dr. Cooper, Dr. Koothrappali, and Mr. Wolowitz. You three look like you've been having fun," Greg said in an even tone.

Sheldon walked stiffly across the room and grabbed Penny's hand from his boss' grip. "You're married. You shouldn't be flirting with my Penny," he grumbled.

"Sheldon!" Penny gasped, tugging her hand from his. "What has gotten into you?"

Greg hid his grin as he stood. "Penny, I don't believe I've ever seen the grounds around back. Would you like to show me around?"

Penny stood, ignoring the way Sheldon stiffened and clenched his hands. She was certain it was just Sheldon's natural tendency to be possessive. He hated sharing a room, toys, food, or attention. She slipped her arm through Greg's with a smile. "Of course I would."

Sheldon watched them walk through the glass doors out into the garden, anger unfurling inside him.


	13. Chapter 13

"Dude, you keep that up, and she's going to go Nebraska on you," Raj said calmly as they watched Penny and Seibert walk out of the house.

Sheldon looked over at him. "Penny is mine. I am hers. She just doesn't see it, yet. She still thinks of me as a kid she has to take care of. Well, I may be young physically, but you guys know as well as I do, that we've never forgotten who we are. Sure we cut loose at first, enjoying the lack of responsibilities, and rules. But we were still us. Leonard, Amy and Bernadette only succeeded in making our bodies regress, not our intellects."

Howard nodded. "Well, maybe it's time we told Penny, Missy and Stephanie that. We've talked about how this has changed us. Being betrayed by the people we love, that we thought loved us, changed us."

Raj sighed. "It's not like their drug was a complete dud. Let's admit it, we ARE different. I can talk even with the women in the room. Howard, you miss your mom, but you didn't feel like you had to rush over when she caught that cold last week. You trusted Penny to handle it. And Sheldon, you still have some quirks, but when's the last time you had a phobia attack?"

"I don't think that had anything to do with the drugs, though," Sheldon said. "I think it has everything to do with Penny, Missy and Stephanie. Face it, when have either of us ever been so accepted or cared for? For three months we have had three people do everything in their power to keep us safe, happy, healthy. The drugs did not impair our personalities, or thoughts. You still couldn't speak around women for those first few weeks, Raj. Howard, you kept wanting to peek at Penny when she went to bed that first week. I clung to her because she's the only one who ever really took care of me, but I still cringed every time anyone touched me. I still wiped down anything I came into contact with those first few days."

Sheldon shook his head. "The drugs didn't change us. They did. Those three women changed us because they loved us unconditionally," he said firmly. "I love her. And it's long past time I did something about it."

Raj and Howard watched him pick up Missy's car keys. "What are you going to do?" Howard asked.

"It's time Amy and I had a little talk about our 'relationship'." Sheldon grinned at his two friends. "Anyone else up for a road trip?"

Raj grinned and grabbed the keys from Sheldon. "Dude, you don't even have a license. Better let me drive."

Howard grinned, too. "I'd call shotgun, but I don't feel like having you challenge me to another arm wrestling contest."

Sheldon snorted. "Next time, don't touch my Mountain Dew."

By the time Penny, Stephanie, Missy and Greg realized the guys were missing, the guys were searching for a parking space near 2311 Los Robles Avenue.

* * *

Leonard opened the door, and Amy hurried in excitedly. Bernadette was already seated on the couch, nervousness evident in her expression. "Are they here, yet?"

Leonard shook his head. "I take it Sheldon messaged you, too."

Amy nodded. "I got a text twenty minutes ago that he, Howard and Raj were on their way here to see us. I knew Penny couldn't keep him away forever!"

"I wonder if they've forgiven us for the drugs," Bernadette murmured.

"Who cares?" Leonard asked, still bitter that the pharmaceutical company he had tried to cut a deal with had backed out. "It's over with! The guys are back to normal and Penny will come home now. Everything will be back to normal and we can put this all behind us."

"I wouldn't count on that," Sheldon said from the doorway.

Leonard, Amy and Bernadette gawked at the three teenagers watching them. Amy was the first to react. She moved toward Sheldon with a smile. "I've been very worried about you," she said warmly.

Sheldon snorted dismissively. "What has worried you most?" he asked. "The fear that I'd die? Or the knowledge that you would have been culpable in my death?"

Bernadette stood up. "That's not fair!" she cried.

"Fair?" Sheldon's voice was ominous, even for a teenager. "How fair was it for you three to lie to us? To trick us? To put us in danger? How fair was it for Penny to have to spend weeks taking care of three children, not her own, all because you three wanted to play god?!"

"Now wait a minute!" Leonard said angrily.

"Let me guess," Raj said stiffly. "You were doing it for our benefit? Your actions were for the greater good?"

Amy gasped softly. "Raj! You're talking! It worked!"

"No," Howard said, crossing his arms over his thin chest. "You didn't 'fix' us. Your little drug cocktail only changed our ages. Penny changed us. She showed us we were loved. Missy changed us. She showed us we were accepted. Stephanie changed us. She showed us we didn't have to be intimidated. They cured us, because they care about us."

Bernadette cried softly as she watched her boyfriend stared at her coldly. "I care about you, too," she whispered.

Howard sighed heavily. "Maybe you do. And there's a small part of me that still cares about you. But I can't forgive you for this." He took a moment to look at her carefully. "I would have done just about anything for you," he said finally. "Goodbye, Bernadette. I never want to see you again." He turned and walked out of the apartment without another word.

Sheldon looked at Leonard with steely eyes. "The lease for this apartment is in my name. You have until I reach my previous age to get out, which, according to my rate of growth is about 22 days." He turned to Amy and Bernadette then. "If I ever see any of you again, I'll ruin you. I'll tell every leading scientist I know exactly what you've all done. You'll be lucky to get a job teaching preschool."

"You can't mean that!" Leonard said loudly. "You can't get by without me! Who's going to drive you to work? Who's going to put up with all your nonsense? Who is going to take you to the stupid train store, huh?"

"We will," a soft voice sounded behind the boys. Everyone turned to see Penny standing in the doorway, Missy, Stephanie, Howard and Greg behind her in the hall. Sheldon grinned smugly at the three people in the apartment.

Penny stepped into the apartment and grabbed Sheldon's ear. He yelped loudly and tried to pull away, but Penny simply grabbed Raj in a similar way. "Running off without telling us where you were going," she bit out. "Underage driving. Scaring the crap out of me! You three are so grounded!"

"Aww, Penny!" Sheldon whined. "We were just…"

Penny sighed and released them. "I know what you were doing," she said. "And I know that it's your right to handle this situation, but you should have told us. When we found you guys and Missy's car gone…" Penny shuddered slightly. "Don't ever scare me like that again, okay?"

Howard, Raj and Sheldon all nodded quickly. Penny smiled at them and patted Sheldon's arm. Then she turned to Leonard, and her expression made everyone flinch. "You have 22 days to get out of our lives. And if you even _think_ of trying to worm your way back in, there's a very slick lawyer with the last name Koothrappali who is just chomping at the bit to have a go at you three." Penny turned and herded her guys out of the apartment and down the stairs.

Greg watched the three teens and the three women move out of sight. He turned back to Leonard and slipped his hands into his pockets. "I would suggest you start reading the want adds, Hofstadter. And Ms. Fowler, Ms. Rostenkowski? Don't be surprised when you both find your funding evaporating before long. I have quite a bit of influence in the scientific community. Good day." He turned and walked down the stairs, whistling jovially.

It was a long time before the three occupants of the room recovered from the shock and horror they felt.


	14. Chapter 14

Sheldon watched from his bedroom window as Penny and his boss talked in low tones beside Seibert's car. He didn't like the proprietary way Seibert touched Penny's arm. He especially hated the way she smiled when he did it.

"Want to talk about it?" Missy asked him.

"Why is she flirting with him?" Sheldon growled. "Why is she letting him flirt with her?"

"They like each other, Shelly. It's natural," she said with a shrug.

"I love her," he argued. "And she loves me. I know she does!"

Missy sighed and sat down on his bed. "Sheldon, come here." He looked at her with surprise when she didn't use his nickname but did as she asked. Missy placed her left hand in his right one and smiled sadly at him. "Sheldon, do you really love Penny, or do you just not want to share her attention?"

He jerked back slightly. "Of course I love her! She's my best friend. She understands me, and accepts me. I need her. She's the only woman I feel comfortable with."

Missy watched him carefully. "I don't hear anything about desire. I don't hear anything about Penny's feelings. Shelly, what you feel for Penny is not romantic love. Can you imagine yourself having sex with Penny? Can you imagine marrying her and raising a family?"

Sheldon's automatic protest died on his tongue. He tried to imagine him and Penny in bed together. He was stunned to find out that it felt wrong somehow. His stomach churned a bit, and he quickly banished those imaginings. He looked at Missy with dismay. "I don't understand," he said worriedly. "I know I love her."

"Talk to Penny," Missy suggested gently. "Tell her how you are feeling, and let her help you."

"What if she hates me for this?" he asked in a child-like tone.

Missy leaned in and hugged her brother briefly. "Penny could never hate you, sweetheart. I promise you that if you talk to her, you'll feel better." Missy stood and left the room while Sheldon sat on his bed and tried to figure out his feelings.

Penny was on her way to the laundry room when Missy stopped her. "Can you go talk to Shelly, please?" Missy asked.

"Sure," Penny said immediately. "Is he upset about Amy or Leonard?"

Missy shook her head. "No. Just a heads up, but he's convinced he's in love with you."

Penny's eyes widened as she watched Missy walk away. After a couple of stunned seconds she turned and headed toward the stairs.

* * *

Sheldon looked up warily as Penny sat down beside him. The affection in her eyes eased some of the acid in his stomach.

"So, I hear you and I need to talk," she said gently. Sheldon blushed and looked away. Penny touched his jaw and turned him back to her. "I love you, Moon Pie. You know that, right? You're my best friend in the world."

"I love you," Sheldon said, a tremble in his voice. "I really love you. We should be together," he insisted.

Penny watched him carefully for a few heartbeats. Slowly she leaned in to him and his eyes widened. When her lips pressed firmly to his, he immediately jerked back, pushing her away. Penny stayed silent, watching him calmly.

Sheldon looked at her with confusion. "Penny?"

She smiled tenderly at him. "I know you love me. But I think you've gotten confused as to what type of love this is. You can rely on me. You and I will always be there for one another. But what we have isn't romantic, Moon Pie. What we have is too special for that. We are closer than friends. Closer than siblings. More importantly, we are closer than lovers. We are two sides of a coin. My chaos to your control. Your innocence to my infamy. Together we balance out."

He stared at her sadly. "I don't want to lose you to him. Or to anyone."

Penny wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. Sheldon's arms wrapped around her back, holding her tight. "Sheldon, you will never lose me. I will always be by your side. No matter who comes along for either of us, we will always be a constant in each other's life."

Sheldon slowly relaxed as her words seeped into his heart. A peacefulness settled over him and he nodded as he buried his face in her hair. "Do you love him? Seibert?"

Penny sighed softly. "I like him. He's sweet and funny. But he's in the middle of a nasty divorce. I'm not making any decisions until that is settled."

Sheldon laid back on his bed, pulling Penny down with him. Her head rested on his shoulder as he stared at the ceiling. "What's going to happen in 22 days?"

"Well, in fourteen days Mr. Castle returns, and we all go home. Except Missy. She's going back to Galveston to pack up her apartment. She's going to move here so she can keep working for Steph's uncle. You and I will go back to my apartment until Leonard is gone. Howard will stay with Stephanie until he can go home. Priya is coming back to stay with Raj. Hopefully this is almost over and we can get back to normal."

"I'm not sure I want to return to my old normal," he admitted.

Penny patted his chest. "Then, we'll make a new normal. Me, you, Howard, Raj, Missy, Steph and Priya. We'll start over fresh."

"And Seibert," Sheldon growled, although there was a twinkle of humor in his eyes.

Penny laughed lightly. "Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not in any hurry."

Sheldon hugged her tight and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Penny Queen."

She tilted her head back and kissed his jaw. "I love you, too, Sheldon Cooper."

* * *

Fourteen days later Penny and Sheldon found apartment 4A empty. Leonard had taken everything not nailed down and disappeared. Sheldon regretted the loss of the few action figures and dvds that Penny had not stored, and the loss of the couch, but his relief at not having to deal with Leonard overshadowed that.

Raj and Howard helped him pick out a very comfortable sectional sofa, large enough for everyone to have their own spots. Missy took over Leonard's room, at Sheldon's request. Mary had tagged along when Missy returned, and been stunned to see how well the twins were getting along. She gave all the credit to Jesus and prayer, and no one bothered to correct her. After a couple of days, she went back home, happy to know her kids were surrounded by people who loved and understood them both.

Once they were back to their true ages, the guys stopped aging so fast. All three of them did notice a few side effects, though. The rapid growth had resulted in a bit of arthritis in their joints, and a few grey hairs. None of them could tolerate spicy foods anymore either. Their stomachs were too sensitive for them. And they tired more easily than they had before.

It was no surprise to anyone when they found out Leonard had moved in with his mom. Beverly wrote a sequel to **Needy Baby, Greedy Baby **entitled **Inability To Let Go: A Greedy Baby's Life**. Amy had packed up and went to Seattle, where she became a live-in companion to her maiden aunt. Bernadette moved to Ohio and got a job teaching high school biology.

Howard and Stephanie began dating a few months later. Any awkwardness from having her 'mother' him was quickly forgotten when they shared their first kiss. Howard never even looked at another woman for the rest of his life.

With his mutism cured, Raj had his sister set him up with an old school friend of hers. After a year of courting, they married in an elaborate Indian wedding. Within five years, they had three delightful girls who followed Raj around like little ducklings.

Everyone was shocked when outgoing, vibrant Missy found true love with shy, introverted Stuart. Soon she was drawing him out of his shell and by year's end, Stuart was a completely different man. By the end of the next year, he was also a married man, with a little girl on the way. Years later Rebecca Bloom would be following in her uncle's footsteps by testing off the charts when it came to her IQ. Luckily she had a wide base of friends and family to help her avoid all the pitfalls a young Sheldon hadn't.

Penny and Greg dated for eight months before Greg showed up at her door with daisies, Godiva chocolates and an engagement ring. Sheldon was best man. He was also godfather to their son Tyler. Penny finished college, getting a Masters in Theatrical Arts. She was soon director of a local playhouse, and with her skills and drive, it was soon the place to go for quality, up-and-coming shows.

Most surprising of all was Sheldon and Priya. Without his phobias and quirks controlling him, Priya was able to see the charming, fun side of the Texas genius. Sheldon, for his part, was able to connect with the strong-willed lawyer now that he was able to set aside his fears. Soon the two of them were texting, calling, and eventually dating.

The first time he asked her to stay over was the last time she slept at Raj's place.

Throughout the years, Sheldon and Penny were, as she predicted, inseparable. The two couples often had dinner together, or went out. Sheldon and Penny also got together every Thursday. Rain, shine, holiday or anniversary, it didn't matter. That was their night together. Halo, Age of Conan, or just sitting on the sofa watching Firefly, they never missed a Thursday.

When Greg passed away 14 years later, it was Sheldon who saw her through it. When Priya passed 11 years after that, Penny held him close and helped him grieve. When Tyler married Sheldon and Priya's daughter Aya, they stood side by side at the church. When they got too old to take care of themselves, Sheldon moved Penny in with him and hired a nurse.

No one was surprised when they died within hours of each other three years later. Everyone who knew the two of them knew they could not bear being apart. Aya and Tyler made sure they would be together for eternity when they laid them to rest in adjoining plots.

Maybe their love wasn't the grand passionate one that everyone wishes for, or dreams of, but it _was_ love. The kind of love that surpassed the physical and even spiritual. It was a love that bound two hearts together forever.

* * *

**A/N: I know a lot of you wanted Sheldon and Penny to end up together, and they did. Maybe not how you expected, but they **_**did**_** end up together. When I began this story, I had no idea where I was going with it. It started as a funny, quirky Rambling that (once again) took on a life of it's own.**

**Before I brought in Seibert, I fully intended this Shenny to be of the romantic variety, instead of the friendship type. However, I realized that the relationship I was writing between Penny and Sheldon in this story was not a romantic one. They love each other, yes, but more than that, they are the other person's most important friend. **

**So, I hope you've enjoyed this story. I have to admit, I'm pretty darn proud of it. **


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